Burnt Out

I am literally so burnt out in this profession and it keeps getting worse and worse. I teach self contained SPED and I’m in my first full year after teaching a half year. The student behavior is so different than how it was last year. I’ve posted about it before because I just need somewhere to vent without being told it’s my fault or that’s just the nature of the job. Every supply I’ve bought, every material I’ve made, is torn up and destroyed in front of my eyes. My classroom is completely barren and it doesn’t bring me joy anymore. I am exposed to physical violence everyday and am in constant fight or flight mode. I can’t relax and I’m exhausted. My stomach hurts, it’s awful. I have a student who will elope at any opportunity. If he sees a door he is gone. We used to have baby locks on the door but the fire marshall came through and as of yesterday they are gone. The district replaced them with puppy gates made of plastic that go up to about my mid calf. The student is almost the same height as me, he is VERY tall for his age. He will fully step over it and run out of the building as he’s done before. On top of that we have another student who will run full force into this gate and break it. He’s done it with every piece of furniture in this room and according to past teachers he did this when he was three with the gate they had. I just can’t take this. It’s not okay and I’m tired of being made to feel like I’m the failure. I spent so much of my life trying to get this degree and enter this profession because I am so passionate about sped but it’s impossible and it is not a good job to have. Also-the admin put alarms on the outside doors due to elopements but because of this teachers cannot go in and out during the school day or until dismissal is over. I feel trapped. But that’s something for another time. I’m sending in my resignation and not returning next year but I don’t even think I can make it to May. submitted by /u/ChillIsopod [link] [comments]