How do I prevent myself from going crazy?

Hi everyone. I recently took up a Job at a Public School ( Or Goverment School - depending on what you call it) My official Designation is Librarian and a Substitute Teacher. My Job duties are divided into 3 parts ( Trust me, this is for context) Now i got the job without the typical teaching qualifications because of my exceptional performance in three rounds of interviews and my perfect educational background. To the point they deemed me worthy to hire despite my young age of 21. I was warned about this many times but I unfortunately didn't pay it much mind. Now I am drowning in exhaustion and pain. My throat hurts due to the constant yelling. No matter how much i convince myself to not come off as rude or scary.... there's always those type of children that make it too difficult to focus. 1-3 students being mischievous is understandable and perhaps i could ignore them. But the entirety of 40 students being annoying, loud and obnoxious as hell? I never saw it coming truly. I always was praised for my clear voice - but having a clear firm voice doesn't help me do jackshit in my actual lessons. No matter how loud you yell out for silence ,there will be that one little demon who seemed to have made his life's mission to make you mad. I can't even send them outside or to the principal because of f*cking stupid rules. It's barely even been long since my first day yet I feel so dejected. I just don't know what to do or how to get them to listen to me for once. I'm incredibly worried because if I'm not able to complete my assigned tasks then the poor behaviour and grades will reflect on MY performance and i might be fired. I'm not even a bona-fide teacher- why do I have to deal with this sh*t??? why do y'all coddle these kids just because of their socio-economic background? Nobody's even trying to discipline them and anytime you speak about punishment - they all go ona long rant about how we should be gentle and kind to these students so we can help them grow out of their small life etc. Now don't get me wrong, I knew what I was getting into- taming a bunch of teenage and adolescent brats and getting them into reading is no small deal. I know that most of these kids are all underprivileged and uncultured ( not in a mean way ) with possibly illiterate parents. So i know when to strike a balance with anger and sympathy that I feel for them. But this is genuinely driving me mad. A class of 8th graders can't even shut up for 2 mins for an introductory speech? Two 5th graders fighting for a chance to kill a random bee. A bunch of 9th graders continuously interrupting me in class to ask inappropriate questions about me. I don't know which one's worse. I can't handle the boys at all..Giving me weird suggestive looks- I genuinely dread going into any of the secondary section classes with grades 7 and above. These boys WILL make you uncomfortable. They WILL whistle in your class unnecessarily to rile you up. Imagine being a substitute teacher for grade 9 and the first question thrown out at you is what's your weight, bra size and stuff. My first class with 9th graders was the girls either listening or sleeping and the boys smiling in weird ways of asking me deeply personal questions. Even after I shut them down time and time again.I have seen a sudden spike in the number of adolescent boys loitering around the library corridor. It's honestly so weird and uncomfortable. I can't even tell them off properly because my supervisor thinks they're still just kids having fun. It is so infuriating. Now I am aware part of it is because of my age- I look really young even for 21 so I get that they might not see me as much of an elder to them. But holy sh*t. I am literally just here as a Librarian and Storyteller/ etc for the most part so I'm glad but I hate the remedial classes. All the troublemakers filled in one class. I feel like these kids really don't respect me at all. No matter how hard I try to interact with them through fun mediums, someone or the other HAS to chime in about how they love a certain thing and we should be doing that instead.. Anyways just needed to rant. On a positive note: Two third grade girls complimented me out of nowhere today. 'Teacher -you're really cute, i had fun in your class'. I swear my whole day has been made. submitted by /u/ParsleyandRice [link] [comments]