Uncomfortable psychology of teaching - beware of the perception of evil

When I was young (17-20), I went on a ride-along with my brother who used to be a deputy. I asked him what’s something unexpected that you don’t like about being a cop. And he told me he didn’t anticipate how the mentality of suspecting people of illegal activity 10 hours a day would affect the quality of his overall psychology. He said it gets pretty dark. In teaching, I have noticed two major shifts. The first is that I used to think of teenagers as the future: growing, curious, energetic, malleable, etc, in need of a positive example. Now I’m starting to think of them as feral animals to be tamed—dramatic of course but you get the point. I feel like less of a teacher and more of a task master each year. Pretty bleak. I do find that after break I feel more inspired and so it’s probably multi-factorial. Second—and probably less popular—I also hesitate to do good and I second guess myself whether or not something kind (sharing food, non work related praise, etc) will be perceived as grooming. It is odd to have the thought in the back of my mind multiple times a day. I am also a youngish moderately attractive cool male teacher (at least in comparison to the teachers on my campus). That makes me a prime target but I also could be projecting. At least 2 times a day “better not do that or better do this (make sure the door is open, lights on, potential witnesses nearby) so I don’t end up in the Epstein files.” Even in making this paragraph, I have to worry that someone might accuse me of seeking validation for potential intent to groom. I guess I’m just voicing that it’s an uncomfortable (job threatening, peers turn you in, can’t do a kind thing that might be encouraging, literally suspected of one of the most vile acts imaginable) pre-caution to have in the regular psychological rotation. Edit to prevent devolution of discussion: I’m just voicing some negativity to get it out and maybe get some support or perspective. I’m a good teacher, good scores, relatively happy, well-liked, at a middle ground title 1 charter school, and I intended to stay there because I enjoy the challenge. submitted by /u/Obvious-Elk7311 [link] [comments]